Singer-songwriter Neko Case talked with host Jill Riley about her latest album Neon Grey Midnight Green, her memoir The Harder I Fight the More I Love You, and turning 55.

Use the audio player above to listen to the interview, and find a full transcript below.

Interview Transcript

Jill Riley: You're listening to The Current. I'm Jill Riley, and I am very happy to be joined by a special guest and a singer-songwriter that, well, we've been playing her music for a number of years on The Current, back with her eighth studio album, Neon Grey Midnight Green, currently on tour in support of the new record. It's been a very busy year for Neko Case, starting the year by releasing a memoir: The Harder I Fight, the More I Love You. Neko Case, it's so great of you to check in, and thank you for joining us on The Current.

Neko Case: It is my pleasure. Thanks for having me.

Jill Riley: You know, when I look at the credits for the new record, the list is just so long, in a very beautiful way, of the number of people who are playing on this new record. And I wonder if you could talk about the musicians who are playing with you on the road.

Neko Case: Well, all of the musicians who are with me right now on the road, minus one of them, played on the record. I think there's seven of us total. Also on the record, there is an orchestra. So we don't have an orchestra with us on tour, obviously, because that's not cost effective. You’ve got to be rich to be doing that. And sadly, I'm not, because I would love to take an orchestra on the road. That would be the funnest thing ever. But luckily, there's a thing with sound, where to make the kind of sound you make on a record, it takes less people in a live setting. It's like how TV adds 10 pounds, live adds layers that aren't there.

Jill Riley: Well, for this tour, you recently played a show at First Avenue. It was nice to have you back in the Twin Cities. How did you feel about being back in the Twin Cities?

Neko Case: It was fantastic, a little bittersweet because Conrad Sverkerson had passed. The legendary, legendary Conrad, he joined his brother Billy, who I also love dearly, who passed a few years ago. And it was bittersweet to walk in and there's no Conrad there to greet you. I knew that was gonna hurt, but his joy is still in the building, and we joked during the show like, "We hope you're haunting this building, Conrad, we kind of expect it, so please do it because we love you." But it was joyful and wonderful, and everybody was so kind, and I loved it.

Jill Riley: For the new record, your eighth album, Neon Grey Midnight Green, which, by the way, thank you for doing that Album Listening Party for The Current. It's so great to hear from artists and get some perspective on the record and some stories behind the songs. One thing that I kept reading about this new record is how you described it as being for and about music and musicians, but kind of that relationship with your fans as well. And I wonder if you could expand on that a little bit more.

Neko Case: Well, firstly, I have to say you are the one I should be thanking for doing the Listening Party. That was so kind, and I was really moved by how many people participated. That was so nice of you. Thank you. You guys have been such great supporters for so long, I really appreciate you.

As far as the listeners, we don't complete the circuit without people listening to the music. The listeners are just as much a part of the band as we are, because we don't play for ourselves. You feel energy that ebbs and flows from the audience, and we perform completely differently without an audience, so they make us way better musicians. We are there to please them, and it feels so good. And, you know, it took me a long time to understand that relationship. As a younger person, I was kind of afraid of the audience a little bit, which I think is a lot of people's experience, because it's a scary thing to be onstage, but when I finally understood they were there to support, literally to support, and not just in a passive way, like they're really invested in the show, I had to think a lot about what it meant to me to go to shows, and I was a little shocked with how I had forgotten that connection. And so, once I put those two things together, it became easier to connect, and then it became something that I absolutely rely on.

People always ask, “Are you nervous to go out onstage?” Never. I was excited to go out onstage. There's an occasion where I will become a little bit starstruck by a building, like, if you're playing The Beacon Theater in New York or something, or, I guess I would feel that way if I was playing Madison Square Garden or, I don't know. But First Avenue is a home kind of place like, that's one of the places that we like to start tours, because people are so welcoming and kind.

Jill Riley: I’m talking with Neko Case on The Current. The new record, Neon Grey Midnight Green, before the record came out, the beginning of the year, your memoir came out, The Harder I Fight the More I Love You. And I know that you spent a lot of time kind of steeped into writing about your memories, your upbringing, your trauma, but also the things that really saved you along the way. My takeaway from your memoir is that you seem to be saved really by, I'm going to say three things, but for sure: music, animals, and the people that became your friends. And I wonder if you could talk about how writing about the past and bringing it up to the present, and how that had an effect on the record that you made.

Neko Case: Well, I kept the record and the memoir very separate. I don't really write about myself by choice. When I was approached by Grand Central, I thought, “Oh, cool, I'm going to write some fiction.” But they were like, "No, we want you to write a memoir." And I was like, "OK, I'll do that." But you know, talking about myself isn't a super natural thing. I like to make up stories. Luckily, I had a really great editor named Carrie Frey who helped me with perspective. And there are occasions, if you're writing a book about yourself, where you're like, God, how boring can I be? I'm gonna bore people to death. And Carrie would come in and be like, “No, you're too in it. Just look at it from this angle.” And she would give me really great prompts. She’s just such a funny, hilarious, smart person that made it a really fun thing, and I looked very forward to our meetings every Tuesday. But the record, I kept separate. I had started [the record] before I started writing the book, so I would kind of use one to procrastinate from the other.

Jill Riley: Talking with Neko Case on The Current. It's just so great to check in with you and to talk about the book and talk about the record, Neon Grey Midnight Green, and to talk about the tour. And I know that you recently celebrated a birthday and I wonder if you could talk a little bit about where you feel like you are in your creative life.

Neko Case: Well, I was thrilled. I just turned 55 —

Jill Riley: Wonderful! Happy late birthday.

Neko Case: Thank you. It was my favorite birthday in many years. Me and my partner, and friend, we spent the whole day just planting trees. It was great. We were all dirty and gross. I stuck a box knife in my thigh. That was pretty bad, but I have an incredible scar to remember my 55th birthday. And I did not get tetanus, which was a miracle, because on my 21st birthday, I actually contracted tetanus swimming in a lake. So I was pretty relieved I did not get tetanus this time. But I feel the most myself I have ever felt, and I was so thrilled to learn that I'm not old, and I was thrilled to learn that being in menopause is like the greatest thing that could ever happen to a person.

Jill Riley: What is your favorite thing about it?

Neko Case: I don't even know where to start, it's so good. Just like a galvanized confidence. I have a lot more hope. I came out the other side very hopeful, and I didn't understand as a younger person that 55 wasn't old. I think that at every age you're bad at guessing how old certain generations are. But I feel very productive and very stable, and I want to scream at everyone, “It's really great over here! Female leading people, don't worry, it's so good over here, it's gonna suck for a bit, but it is so good over here.” Men go through andropause, and they don't even know what that is, because they don't tell you in school about that. I mean, obviously nobody talks about menopause either, but yeah. Look it up, andropause. Understanding your body and what it's doing is so helpful because then you're like, “Oh, I'm not going crazy. The hormones that make my brain work are changing, and so my brain doesn't recognize it's in her guidepost for a while.” It's just that simple.

Jill Riley: I think every year that I'm on this planet, I find that I have this wisdom and almost like a confidence that I never had before, and I feel like the only reason that that is entering my consciousness is because I'm aging, and I kind of love it. To be honest, I love it.

Neko Case: I'm Gen X, and I grew up not really understanding my gender place, or, you know, I wasn't told about a spectrum of gender. I know that those concepts existed then, but they weren't widely talked about. And we owe Millennials our lives, because they have brought it into the main — younger [generations] too have brought into the main conversation, and I figured out I was a gender fluid person, and I was like, “Oh my gosh, everything makes so much sense now.” As a younger person, I spent so much time, I hate using this term, but worried about the male gaze. I worried about what men thought of me all the time, and men weren't even actively thinking about me or how I looked. It's this patriarchal tool which really grinds you down. And I remember, I didn't start figuring it out until I met queer women and non-binary people that, I didn't really have words for that at the time, but they had a different way that they moved through music and a different path. And I would see their swagger, and I would see how they held themselves, and it was so magnificent, and I realized, OK, that is hindering me, and that person whose swagger is so impressive is the person that I am inside, and it has nothing to do with being queer or not, or however. It's more about spending your life worried about what 50% of the population is thinking about you at all times, that male gaze thing, which is just really detrimental. And so now at 55, I don't even think about it, and there's so much in my brain that's free. You know, it's so wonderful. And the men in my life, they're like, “Yes, we weren't thinking about you, of course, you should feel good about yourself,” or “You seem so happy,” you know? And I love it.

Jill Riley: Yeah, to release that and come to this place of, what really sounds like a peaceful place.

Neko Case: And you know, if you were to look at it in a biological way, maybe when we're just not caring about breeding or being attractive or attracting someone, or whatever. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I think about everything in terms of, like, what do animals do? It makes sense. But it's also like, it's not that simple either, because humans are pretty complicated.

Jill Riley: Neko Case on the line with The Current. The book is called, The Harder I Fight the More I Love You. The new album, your eighth album, your first self-produced album, Neon Grey Midnight Green. Thank you so much for taking the time to check in with The Current. It's great to have a new album from you.

Neko Case: Well, I'm a huge fan of you, too. And seriously, thank you so much for your support over the years, and the way you guys support all kinds of independent musicians, and I know your community loves you, and yeah, we all need to give you money.

Jill Riley: Thank you for that.

Neko Case: Thank you again, and thanks for having me on the show.

Jill Riley: All right, take care. You are listening to The Current, Neko Case.

Credits

Guests – Neko Case
Host – Jill Riley
Producer – Nilufer Arsala
Digital Producer – Natalia Toledo

External Links

Neko Case - Official Site